Question: As I sit here in office,I think: Why did I do bad in CFA xam?
Response : There are many explanations [and reactions] that may soothe my frens n family:
"Course was too tough",Ma.
"At least you tried",Papa.
"He he",Supriyo
"Keep your fingers crossed",Didi.
"Mere saath diyo ab june mein",Karthik.
"saale tu bahut bada negative thinker hai, tera ho jayega"Nikhil Bhai
Response : There are many explanations [and reactions] that may soothe my frens n family:
"Course was too tough",Ma.
"At least you tried",Papa.
"He he",Supriyo
"Keep your fingers crossed",Didi.
"Mere saath diyo ab june mein",Karthik.
"saale tu bahut bada negative thinker hai, tera ho jayega"Nikhil Bhai
"Rehne do****Kyuin",Khushboo
"hmmmmmm",Vidhushi.
"Office was too hectic,man"Deep
Past : I would not say this was my first xam where I did bad. Scored 22/50 in english gram in 2nd. Scored 53/100 in maths in 10th. 64/100, English - 10th. 37/100, Sanskrit-8th, was amongst last 3-4 guys in nursery and KinderGarden. But I never took as them defeats. I always laughed at the teachers and took them as opportunities to score more. A few times, I did and many a times I didn't. I am no Hero. But good thing was: I didn't loose battles without fighting. I was always happy fighting.
Present: But this time it was different. I lost it. I didn't laugh at it. And I have not taken this as a challenge, this time. It's different. Its not a Zen's calm. It is a tired person's acceptance of defeat.
"Office was too hectic,man"Deep
Past : I would not say this was my first xam where I did bad. Scored 22/50 in english gram in 2nd. Scored 53/100 in maths in 10th. 64/100, English - 10th. 37/100, Sanskrit-8th, was amongst last 3-4 guys in nursery and KinderGarden. But I never took as them defeats. I always laughed at the teachers and took them as opportunities to score more. A few times, I did and many a times I didn't. I am no Hero. But good thing was: I didn't loose battles without fighting. I was always happy fighting.
Present: But this time it was different. I lost it. I didn't laugh at it. And I have not taken this as a challenge, this time. It's different. Its not a Zen's calm. It is a tired person's acceptance of defeat.
Race: Now does that make me one among those who are at the bottom of the race [Races don't go left to right or right to left these days; they go top to bottom and bottom to top. Gives you the liberty to pull the legs of ones above you or watch thru their legs. Great if your boss is a She. Also, keep pissing on ones below you. Learned this at the org i m working for:) CopyRight - KapilGoyal] No that does nt make me one below the ones above me. I feel myself trapped in a marathon, where everyone wants to come first. I am standing right in the center of this running rushing crowd pushing me along willingly/unwillingly.
Me: I am tired of running. I stand demotivated. Out of the purple haze, I am trapped in the $$$HAZE$$$ - worst thing that could happen to me. I find a way out: find solace listening to Sri-2 RaviShanker. But then I forgot his lessons the moment I lost his sight. Anyways, life has not been all that cruel to me. I will fight back and win. Caz that is me. But then, why have I to fail once before making it heads. God is great and he always will be. I search for a race I would love to be a part of. I-Banking is day(s) in-thing. Today/tomorrow I will turn this around but will I do what I enjoy most doing in life:Talking. Or I will I keep venting out my anguish [over this over-awed society of mine] only on blogs. I have promised myself that I will do four things for sure in life: ***Serve my parents [Nothing new] ***Make a film ***Open a charity school in my grandpa's village ***____*** I am keeping fourth blank for anything new that comes to life.
Gyan: You have to come to terms with life. You have to keep the bar low. Probably, I feel more clear about my life now. Right. A balanced life like a balanced diet is the solution. Every thing has to be done. It is not an acceptance of defeat but a pleasure of realising: Life is important.
Prediction: On the timescale, my story will be like this : **Health[mental and physical]**Amrika.**Study.**Ibanking**Money**Marriage**Serve.**2-3 maal gf's [my daughters]**Direct[a film]/Write a book**Open Charity School**Smile&Pass-Away**.
Question: Life is simple. Isn't it?
Me: I am tired of running. I stand demotivated. Out of the purple haze, I am trapped in the $$$HAZE$$$ - worst thing that could happen to me. I find a way out: find solace listening to Sri-2 RaviShanker. But then I forgot his lessons the moment I lost his sight. Anyways, life has not been all that cruel to me. I will fight back and win. Caz that is me. But then, why have I to fail once before making it heads. God is great and he always will be. I search for a race I would love to be a part of. I-Banking is day(s) in-thing. Today/tomorrow I will turn this around but will I do what I enjoy most doing in life:Talking. Or I will I keep venting out my anguish [over this over-awed society of mine] only on blogs. I have promised myself that I will do four things for sure in life: ***Serve my parents [Nothing new] ***Make a film ***Open a charity school in my grandpa's village ***____*** I am keeping fourth blank for anything new that comes to life.
Gyan: You have to come to terms with life. You have to keep the bar low. Probably, I feel more clear about my life now. Right. A balanced life like a balanced diet is the solution. Every thing has to be done. It is not an acceptance of defeat but a pleasure of realising: Life is important.
Prediction: On the timescale, my story will be like this : **Health[mental and physical]**Amrika.**Study.**Ibanking**Money**Marriage**Serve.**2-3 maal gf's [my daughters]**Direct[a film]/Write a book**Open Charity School**Smile&Pass-Away**.
Question: Life is simple. Isn't it?
4 comments:
i think you have written your post, which seems to have snowballed the fact that you did not do well in ur exam than what really was the case! Moreover, I would also say that there is no need to presume anything.. From whatever I know of you, I know you will get through :)
yaar dost sahnker yeh sab to thik hai ... yaar . mere blog pe [i]ANONYMOSOAN ka katra mandra rha hai...[i] bata kya karuin... saala pehle bhi blog delete kiya tha ab fir karna padega,..:(
Enable 'word verification' for comments and this will take care of comments form anonymous users i.e. you will not get them any more! I hope I have rightly understood the problem :)
bhai i want to know wht ANOSY.. r saying...hhehee.. block nhi karna ...fir bhi pta karna hai ki WO KAUN HAI??
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